As many of you have read…my boss is not a big fan of my work here on my little blog. In fact, it is because of her that I adopted the pseudonym, Pink Monkey. In fact her exact words were, “If I find out that you are writing anything inappropriate, then you are so fired.” Which I do fear means that if she ever find this blog, I am f’d!

Interesting enough, she also added, “I will also fire you if pose for Playboy.” Well..aww. shucks…that’s so sweet. I love those double insults that degrade both my intelligence and my moral standards (and possibly the business planning of Hugh Hefner) at the same time. Got to admire the efficiency of upper management.

Well, folks…even with all my careful planning and winter layering..IT HAPPENED.

It is just a wee bit possible that I have been photographed in a compromising position. Yes, the Internet could be all a buzz with the video ‘Middle Aged Woman Peeing At WestBury Farms.’

Westbury Farms is an ancient mom and pop coffee shop located in MA. My friend and I went there to have some French toast and bacon last Saturday. After the third bucket of Diet Pepsi, I naturally had to use the bathroom. The women’s restroom is one of those one-room washrooms with a toilet, sink, mirror, and a hand blower.

I whipped down my jeans and athletically hovered over the rusty commode. Mid-stream, a flash of light burst in my face.

That was weird…..

So, I went to the sink and washed my hands.

“Pop!”…WTF????

The light didn’t exactly come from anything, and it wasn’t really even attached to the wall. It just seemed to float and pop in front of my face.

Strange..right?

So, I went back to the booth and told my friend what happened.

The interesting thing is that our waitress overheard me and chimed right in.

“The same thing happened to me,” she said. “But, no one else said anything, so I thought I was crazy.”

At this point, I got all excited that I just had a paranormal experience, and I too could make a fortune shooting a low budget, grainy (albeit short) horror film. As I was shooting the bathroom with my camera and looking for spooky shadowy figures, my friend kindly remarked that it most likely wasn’t a ghost and that it was more likely just the cook with a hidden camera.

Gulp!..That’s creepy. But..not really possible..right?

Fast forward to last night…I am having dinner with two other friends who live in the same area as Westbury Farms. It’s never good when you tell a story like this and the two people who are listening exchange uncomfortable, knowing looks.

Turns out they just received a letter stating that a level 2 sex offender lives in the area and get this…WORKS AT WESTBURY FARMS!!!

Yeah..I could call the cops and report this. But I really don’t want to put the poor people who own Westbury Farms out of business. It really is the only good place to get breakfast in the area..and as I have said so many times, I do so heart bacon. Just do me a favor..and let me know if you see my ass on You Tube.