How many blondes??..Just one apparently is needed to screw herself…in public…and with no light bulbs involved.

Now, there are times that I can be rather clever. I have a big shot degree and a reasonably successful career in academia. Yet, I am fully aware that true cleverness is limited to the first fifteen minutes after ingesting large amounts of caffeine or when someone wants to know all the words to the theme song of some long-ago-cancelled Saturday Morning cartoon.

Most of the time, I get by. If I organize, caffeinate, and get six hours of sleep, I can usually avoid public humiliation.

Then, there are the times that I am a complete dumb ass. D-U-M-B!!! With a capital D.

Was I born this way???

Is it because I lived for ten of my most formidable years in the San Fernando Valley in California?

Or is it because I am blond?

Whatever the cause, there are times when I say something so profoundly stupid that I wonder if I’m simply just a ventriloquist dummy controlled by Jessica Simpson.   ”Who the fuck said that?” I think to myself as I glance around the room with a look of surprise like a person who is  trying to pass the blame for a big fart.

Today was one of those days that I had a brain fart of epic proportions. In front of my entire college ESL class.

I took my class on a field trip to the MFA, and we had a very nice tour of the museum.  The class was starting to get tired, so I chased down the  tour guide and asked her if we could break for lunch.

We stopped in front of a doorway, and I noticed the exact sign pictured above.

“Oh, look!” I said pointing to the sign while the whole group of students crowded around me, their fearless leader. “The cafeteria is right here,” I announced.

“No, Sweetie,” the female tour guide said gently, “That’s an exhibit by a very famous French painter.”

How do you say ‘Dumb Blond’ in French???

I bet it sounds pretty….

Oh well…C’est la vie!!!!!