The Secret Life of A Middle Aged Porn Star…
Okay..not exactly..But I made you look. And I may have very well been captured on film with my pants down. Let me explain….
As many of you have read…my boss is not a big fan of my work here on my little blog. In fact, it is because of her that I adopted the pseudonym, Pink Monkey. In fact her exact words were, “If I find out that you are writing anything inappropriate, then you are so fired.” Which I do fear means that if she ever find this blog, I am f’d!
Interesting enough, she also added, “I will also fire you if pose for Playboy.” Well..aww. shucks…that’s so sweet. I love those double insults that degrade both my intelligence and my moral standards (and possibly the business planning of Hugh Hefner) at the same time. Got to admire the efficiency of upper management.
Well, folks…even with all my careful planning and winter layering..IT HAPPENED.
It is just a wee bit possible that I have been photographed in a compromising position. Yes, the Internet could be all a buzz with the video ‘Middle Aged Woman Peeing At WestBury Farms.’
Westbury Farms is an ancient mom and pop coffee shop located in MA. My friend and I went there to have some French toast and bacon last Saturday. After the third bucket of Diet Pepsi, I naturally had to use the bathroom. The women’s restroom is one of those one-room washrooms with a toilet, sink, mirror, and a hand blower.
I whipped down my jeans and athletically hovered over the rusty commode. Mid-stream, a flash of light burst in my face.
That was weird…..
So, I went to the sink and washed my hands.
“Pop!”…WTF????
The light didn’t exactly come from anything, and it wasn’t really even attached to the wall. It just seemed to float and pop in front of my face.
Strange..right?
So, I went back to the booth and told my friend what happened.
The interesting thing is that our waitress overheard me and chimed right in.
“The same thing happened to me,” she said. “But, no one else said anything, so I thought I was crazy.”
At this point, I got all excited that I just had a paranormal experience, and I too could make a fortune shooting a low budget, grainy (albeit short) horror film. As I was shooting the bathroom with my camera and looking for spooky shadowy figures, my friend kindly remarked that it most likely wasn’t a ghost and that it was more likely just the cook with a hidden camera.
Gulp!..That’s creepy. But..not really possible..right?
Fast forward to last night…I am having dinner with two other friends who live in the same area as Westbury Farms. It’s never good when you tell a story like this and the two people who are listening exchange uncomfortable, knowing looks.
Turns out they just received a letter stating that a level 2 sex offender lives in the area and get this…WORKS AT WESTBURY FARMS!!!
Yeah..I could call the cops and report this. But I really don’t want to put the poor people who own Westbury Farms out of business. It really is the only good place to get breakfast in the area..and as I have said so many times, I do so heart bacon. Just do me a favor..and let me know if you see my ass on You Tube.
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Uh, oh. The Pink Monkey goes viral! Next time you're in there give him a real show, something that will let him know you're on to him – the bastard!
Note to self:
Shut off flash first.
Got it.
Thanks for the tip!
You really should report it to the business venue and the authorities. The business venue will not go out of business and who knows! You might save someone's life since this might just be the prelude of stalking, etc.
Darling, you have it all wrong. It's a Level THREE sex offender, and he lives on the street behind ours.
The guy had something like 15 convictions in 17 years for "Lewd and lascivious behavior."
Thankfully, his record showed that he was incarcerated when we checked, so he may not be working there any more. But still, that was many months ago, so he could be back on the loose!
What's kind of gross is, no disrespect to the elderly and aging, but that's pretty much the majority of the clientele at Westbury Farms, so if that's what's being photographed… man, did he luck out when you had to pee.
Wonder if you'll make it into the collection? Or maybe you're too young? 
The mens rooms are never discreet anyway. They might as well have a urinal installed right there at each booth…
Come on baby … show me your Pink Monkey!!! OMG! OK, first your boss has not right to say what you can and cannot do in your spare time (unless, of course it's something against the law – duh). So go flash your Pink Monkey wherever you please and write away. Free speech baby! It rocks cocks!
OK, now for this freak, mo'fo perv … he's needs to get his azz hog tied good and made to "squeal" like a piggie and have someone film this and put his pretty puss all over the "enternet" … I'm just saying!
Sounds like a fun Saturday night to me, following by French Toast and bacon at Westbury Farms! I bet it would be on the house, too for our good deed!
Wow that is scary. I would also report it to at leas t the owners of the restaurant.
I don't know..I'm still leaning toward paranormal contact. Who knows..maybe my scrambled eggs were laced…
That is freakin' creepy!! Sorry that happened to you.
Great for you Blog, but too weird. We'll keep an eye out. And we promise we'll send you ALL the copies!!
Hope you've been well. We've missed you.
FYI:
Just wanted to let you know that we’ve moved to: http://www.theguysperspective.com/theguysblog
For Blogrolls and such.
We’re still in the process of tweaking the look and design of our site, but we’re happy to be operating under our own domain!
Take care and have a great day!
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