I am stuck, inert, rebellious even in my complete lack of direction. I am cheesing through my classes, I haven’t even written one word of the next great novel, and fur balls are rolling through my livingroom like tumbleweeds at the OK Corral. To make matter worse, my son politely asked me the other day if our lack of food in the kitchen was because we have decided to become “supermodels.” Cheeky kid…
So…um…what now?
At this point, I picture Yoda limping toward me with his walking stick. He approaches me and smacks me across the head.
“There is do or not do…there is no try,” he admonishes.
“But I’m tired. And I’m afraid that life is just crap and has no meaning,” I snivel.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear lead to anger. Anger leads to hate.”
“But, I was betrayed. I was lied to and abandoned. I have a right to be pissed. I’m so pissed that “I could punch a baby.”
Yoda scratchs his face and nods, “MMM…Happens to every guy sometimes this does.”
“I’m afraid that I’ll never get things right. I don’t want to die alone,” I confess.
“Good relations with the Wookies, I have”
“That may be true, Yoda,” I say. “Tall is nice, but I don’t like men with hairy backs.”
Yoda ignores that comment and replies, “So, lost a planet Master Obi-Won has? How embarassing.”
“Yes, Thank you for bringing that up, Yoda. The whole incident was very embarassing. And to make matters worse, I haven’t haven’t gotten any in a month.”
“Ahh!! Yoda’s little friend you seek.”
“No, Yoda, I have one of those. It just doesn’t do it for me.”
Yoda paces back and forth, caresses his face some more, and says, “MMM…I have thought about this problem. I have. ‘Use your feelings, Obi-Wan. And find him you will.’
“I can’t believe it,” I say and shake my head.
“And this is why you fail.”
I look at Yoda, and he at me.
“Remember, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they.”
My resolved now intact, I vow, “I will, Yoda. I’ll be strong, I’ll stay away from the dark side, and I’ll look into getting more batteries for my light saber.”
“May the force be with you,” Yoda says and vanishes.
Imma need you to be having a random hookup or eating something…you can't be having imaginary conversations with Yoda…lol.
Yoda the dating adviser I love it!
An' if the Force fails, the weak will prevail. Keep a weak lower lip 'cause it's cool to be hip. Even if you thrive you probably won't survive. So…a day at a time. Even if it ain't work a dime.
Or so my Muse says. Not that I trust her a lot. But she's the one I got.
(grin…or groan)
I talked to Yoda once after…well, that's really a story for another time.
This is my first visit here and it certainly won't be my last. I love your style of writing.
may the force be with you…
haha..loved yoda as the advisor
cool!!
I wonder what William Shatner would say about all this?
Good post! I might really listen to what you are trying to get out. Overall your whole blog is extreme… I am having fun with it. Much Thanks!
I REALLY enjoyed your post and blog! It took me a minute bit to stumble upon your site…but I bookmarked it. Would you mind if I posted a link back to your page? I have a Political Blog site of my own at White Rabbit Cult. Regards!
Excuse me I was , do you mind letting me know where you got this cool template from?